Midnight Rose

Well, this is impossible, and the more you try to love the right type-they will inevitably become the opposite. The more fabulous you are the harder it is to find someone who can compete. Not to worry: you can meet them halfway. Once you have paired off you need to run a few essential preliminary tests before eloping or introducing him to the parents and booking the church.

1. Does he make you laugh?

2. Does he listen and respect you?

3. Who does he like more? You or your address book?

4. Does he have ambition or a job?

If he passes all of these to your satisfaction you move to phase two:

1. Does he love fashion? Does he want to work in it?

2. Does he take longer than you to get ready?

3. Does he express too much of his feminine side?

4. Does he dye/bleach/perm his hair?

5. Does he have a more extensive beauty regime than you?

If you think there would be a YES to more than three of the above, chances are he could be gay. You might want to check this with him sooner rather than later. There is nothing more fabulous as an accessory or girl’s best friend than a stylish gay man, but he is not going to be marriage material. Sadly. Yes they are more faithful, more amusing, generally far more creative, but you will share the same taste in boys, and will not be able to have the fairy tale ending.

So before you open the joint account check:

a) are they truly single? Wife? Girlfriend? Skeletons?

b) do they have children? pets or a peg leg?

c) do they have criminal record or seasonal tickets, and to which team?

-From How To Walk in High Heels (Camilla Morton)

Some things are just not meant to be. Sometimes you grow apart, move on. You’ve tried, it didn’t work, learn and leave. Try to find someone who will appreciate you. Don’t kill each other’s chances of happiness and waste years on something that will never happen. 

Be honest. Be tough. Ask yourself: Where do I see myself in ten years? What do I want to have achieved? What kind of person do I want to be with? What kind of person will encourage me to be the kind of person I most want to be?

Believe in true love and know that men are like shoes. A couple is like a left and right foot, and out there is your perfect fit. Sometimes you need to change styles and shop around to find it. Sometimes you have to break styles in, sometimes you feel like  something that is unstylish but uncomfortable, and sometimes a style -as much as you like it- just doesn’t suit you and will never fit.

Literary quotes may help such as:

“Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all” from Tennyson.

Take solace in slushy movies from Sleepless in Seattle to Wuthering Heights. Distract yourself and learn all the words to Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I Will Survive’.

But all the best stories end ‘they all lived happily ever after…’ And so will you; and if not, you can buy yourself an awful lot of Manolos while trying.

-From How To Walk in High Heels (Camilla Morton)